I love the Foo Fighters music, but my most favorite song is probably “Everlong”. And I think it’s probably because the line, “Got to promise not to stop when I say when” somehow always resonates with me. Every single time! No matter how many times I listen to that song, that line always moves me.
So what can this possibly have to do with a blog meant to be themed around bringing more love to your life? Interestingly, this line came to my head earlier today and it seemed to have everything to do with love. Let me explain…
I think we all have moments in our lives that we can now look back on and say, “I stopped myself, I should have kept going.” Sometimes this was in a relationship, or a job, or maybe in pursuing a new experience. Those that love us, truly love us, would not let us stop when we said “when” if they had the opportunity and they knew that continuing would be the right thing for us.
This is one of the greatest ways we love. We love others in spite of themselves, when they are most self-defeatist or at their worst. We might not be saying or behaving in any way that “deserves” love but those that truly love us will not stop just because we are “saying when” (even if we are saying it only with our actions.)
How true is this when we have a deep love for something, a passion? How many people have loved doing something so deeply that even though the odds are totally against them and it’s as if the world is saying “when” they refused to stop. Their love for doing that thing was so encompassing that they could never have just given up and walked away.
So this post is about the importance of understanding that truly loving anyone, including our selves or anything, comes down to the simplest act of refusing to stop when they say “when.” Sometimes people leave our lives because of drifting a part or some kind of disagreement. Sometimes a chance, a dream, has been lost because the opportunity is now gone. You must ask yourself, “did I love them? Did I love that?”. Because if the answer is yes, and some sort of love remains, you must not stop sending that love just because they have passed us by now. This does not mean I’m encouraging you to take up old relationships when clearly there was a reason for their end, but it does not mean you have to or even SHOULD stop loving them all together. Sending love, mentally, out to someone or something from your past will still help both yourself and them. (I’ll go into that thought at a different time, because trust me there’s a lot to be said about that.)
Loving something or someone beyond the point where we are being told to stop is the act of loving unconditionally. You are loving without a judgement or someone necessarily deserving it. You are loving someone in spite of themselves, something in spite of the rationality of it. (DISCLAIMER: do not mistake me, I am in no way shape or form encouraging stalking or obsession of a person, or insisting that you do something that you “love” if it is illegal or harmful to yourself or others-or reckless, not encouraging reckless behavior either!)
Love is the greatest gift we give to the world, doing so freely and unconditionally does not just benefit you or the person you have it for, it genuinely benefits the entire world. Loving unconditionally is loving others with out your own expectations of their behaviors, or even their own expectations for themselves, getting in the way. It is pure, simple, true love. The kind beyond all compare. The kind that heals, gives hope and brings immense joy. The kind that should be shared and spread to those in your life and with yourself. The kind that should be given to your passions and your dreams when fear & doubt want you to stop.
“If everything could ever feel this real forever. If anything could ever be this good again. The only thing I’ll ever ask of you…got to promise not to stop when I say when.” Are you giving that kind of love?