Fixer-uppers are a lot of hard work. They require a great amount of energy, lots of hard work and often bring with them stress, frustration, even pain. I’m not talking about the real estate kind. I’m talking about the relationship kind.
Some times, especially if we’ve been single for a while, we get impatient about “when do I get love?” But besides reminding you that patience is a virtue, and God has perfect timing, I’d like to throw it at you in my love-of-rehabbing-old-homes metaphor. (And boy do I seem to love rehabbing homes, literally and metaphorically!)
Getting yourself a fixer upper can be great especially when starting out. They can be super cost-effective. You get a huge sense of reward and accomplishment when finally finished. But let me ask you this? Say you are dead set on finding a home that needs some real TLC because you are passionate about putting your mark on it and making it your own. Maybe you just can’t help but see the beauty and potential in this older structure. Maybe you just can’t bring yourself to buy one of those shoddy, cookie cutter new-builds that come completely done to your specifications. You really want to put yourself into it.
Have you ever fixed up a home before? Down to the bare bones, everything needs done and replaced? I’m going to guess if you have it was a whole lot harder than you expected and there are certain things you would definitely be able to go without repeating again. How much nicer is it to not have to replace the electric, plumbing, heating and a roof; and only lay new flooring, pick paint, maybe some new counter tops? Yah, that’s what I thought. Still work, but much more enjoyable.
Think back to five or ten years ago. Who were you then? Look how much you have grown and changed; and gotten clearer on who you are and what you want in life and relationships. Heck, maybe you’ve come a long way just in the last six months. That was a lot of work I’m guessing. Probably some times really filled with pain and stress. Are you better now? WWAAYYYY better now? I thought so. So don’t you want this perfect life partner, love of your life, to have already gone through all this too? Having them already taken care of all their super laborious parts, wouldn’t that be way more enjoyable?
Consider that all that personal growth and change required a whole lot of unpleasantness. But now it’s all fabulous. He or she needs to go through that too. This is not saying you can’t get into a handy-man special together, but isn’t it much nicer to have all the foundation, the bare bones of necessities already in great working condition, so you only need to put the finishing touches on?
The next time you find yourself in torment over “when will my love come to me,” remember you or he, or perhaps both of you, still might need to have some upgrading down. And if you have to choose, my guess is you can stand to spare yourself the work and “expense” of having to go through it all unnecessarily.