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It’s Woo-Woo Work

People sometimes are uncomfortable when I bring up that I work with clients on a spiritual level; as well as physical, emotional, and mental. For some, they think of spiritual as “woo woo”, organized religion, angels, fairies, “black magic”, or buddhism.

The reality is spirituality-your spiritual self-is every day thoughts and actions. Anytime you are in touch with a desire to create and experience growth that will result in a higher self, a better self, you are practicing spirituality. Sorry to break it to you.

When you consider spirituality in this way you realize that you must face this aspect as much as you do any other. If you are truly committed to creating a better life. As I always say, you get a better life when you get to your better self.

Truth behold the spiritual is often so intertwined with the other facets of yourself that you may not even think about it consciously. You aren’t just looking to lose weight. You are wanting to feel better physically, and also emotionally. This is a desire to grow and develop a better you, is it not? You aren’t just looking to end the parade of unworthy partners that keep coming to your life. You are looking to be able to attract and experience a better love for yourself, and your Self. This is what growing and desiring a best self looks like. This is spiritual work.

So next time you hear someone talk about spiritual development, spiritual teachings, a spiritual class, check it out a bit. Open your mind to see if there isn’t something that might resonate with you, and help you to grow.

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I’ve Got a Feeling

Some times you have these occasions, or areas, in life where others are repeating the same opinion to you…over and over again.  And yet it never really feels right.  So you just can’t get on board with taking a step towards whatever they all seem to see that you don’t.

And if you are like me, like most people who are constantly seeking personal growth, you tend to be self-analyzing.  So you start to wonder, “do they all see something I don’t?”  It can be very hard to discern whether you are blocking yourself, self sabotaging yourself, just being blind to something; OR are you in fact knowing your own truth which is not recognized by others?  Geez! Can there be a bigger  internal struggle?

What happens when our world has a perception of our situation that doesn’t match up with our gut instinct, or doesn’t resonate with us?  Are two, three, even four or more people in your life all wrong about what is best for you?  How can they all be in agreement about the right decision for you when it feels so off-center to you?  What’s wrong with you?  Are you wrong?  Well you almost have to be if everyone else is in agreement, right?

If you pay close attention you will in fact experience a feeling, a resonance with what is your own truth.  Whether you acknowledge that we all have intuition, or not, there is a connection to your higher self that does send us signals about what is for our highest and best good.  You have had some experience where you can describe it as, “Something didn’t feel right.  So I went with that and I’m sure glad I ‘listened’ to that.”  Some of you may believe that God, angels, saints, and/or spirit guides give us guidance, signs and/or answers to questions when we ask.  But even if you believe in all this divine guidance, there are times when you don’t seem to be getting this outside help.  It’s in those times that I ask you to check in with yourself.

If you can be very honest with your self and allow your self to experience even just a few moments of observation or self-detachment, try to think about the possible options.  Take a moment and think about if you make choice A.  Now take a few deep breaths and stay with thinking about that decision-maybe what it looks like, how it will cause you to act, or what following through with that decision will cause you to say or action it will make you take.  How does it feel?  There will be a literal, physical feeling in your body.  Do you feel a knot in your stomach, an expanded feeling in your chest, a literal weighing on your shoulders, a sense of clarity or lightness in your head?  Now repeat the same thing for option B, and just observe the physical reaction your body has to thinking about that choices outcome.

You are never disconnected from your own truth.  Your body will always physically react to emotions and true thoughts, even if those emotions and true thoughts are not apparent to your conscious self.  There is always a literal resonance in what is best for you and your life path.  So believe and know, that when your head can’t make heads or tails of a situation some part of you does know what is best and you can tap into it.

 

Every Girl Deserves Flowers for No Reason

I’ve always been an idealist, a dreamer, a glass-half-full girl.  Don’t get me wrong, I can be a straight shooting realist when it comes to advice, and coaching & counseling; but for the most part I intrinsically believe all people are good, the highest and best outcome will prevail, and you can make a difference.

As a young girl, I tried creating boycotts of McDonald’s for their styrofoam containers and again for their demolition of the rain forests. My family thought I was totally nuts. I actually remember them making fun of me, but I thought even my one lone self was making some kind of drop to the cause.  

I organized my science class in 7th or 8th grade to write to Carefee gum makers to stop using two pieces of wrapping paper per stick and instead print on one white one.  This was an effort to save the trees by using less paper.  And that worked!!  They still do it today.  Who knew?!

But I don’t think that was my only successful contribution to making the world better.  I’m not looking for Oprah level recognition or power, just some way to make a difference in a semi-big way.  Leave a mark.

The other day in an effort to continue practicing what I preach, as a self-love expression, I went and bought myself flowers for no good reason.  And it dawned on me…how good does this feel?  How does it feel when someone you know gives you flowers for absolutely no reason?  How much better would it feel if you got them from a stranger for no good reason?!

And so my newest baby is born.  “Every Girl Deserves Flowers for No Reason”.  I do believe that by the simple act of people all over the world giving a single flower, a bunch from the back yard, or an inexpensive grocery store bouquet to a total stranger, for no reason, we can create a whole lot of extra joy and happiness that wasn’t there.  I do believe that creating more joy and happiness in the world is what truly has the power to change the world.

I am asking others to share in this silly, little idea by sharing the social media sites-Facebook and Twitter– with those you know.  Contact me for “Give Cards” to hand out to others that want to participate or for you to use on your own “Gives”.  Then please document any “Gives” on one of the sites including your geographical location, so that we can all see how many people we are reaching and how far around the globe this is spreading.

As the page on this site now dedicated to the Every Girl campaign says, this is a volunteer thing.  No one is making money on it, now or ever.  I will continue to pay for the printing of “Give Cards” and mailing of them, always.  If you wish to not be a “Giver” in an outward acting kind of way but want to do something to join in, that is ok.  You can spread the social media sites, donate a $1 to help cover costs, or volunteer a talent you have in some other way.  We all can make a difference and play a part.

So here’s the big idea for the day.  Launching it on June 1st, because I always love the 1st of a month.  So please…if this speaks to you in some way, let me know.  A little support and encouragement to keep moving forward is also a great way you can participate.

It’s not about trying to change the world.  It’s about creating more joy and happiness, because THAT changes the world!

 

 

It’s the Freakin’ Weekend Baby!

What brings more excitement to everyone’s ordinary life than the anticipation of the weekend?  Wahoo!  Some freedom!

Maybe that’s how you feel when Friday arrives.  But for some of us, the weekend can bring about anxiety.  You know you are going to be asked to go out and enjoy drinks, meals and/or activities that you don’t have money to participate.  Maybe the surmounting to-do list is totally overwhelming.  Perhaps you agreed to host a group of family or friends at your house and the tasks that need to be done before their arrival are causing stress and panic attacks.

The reality is that on the emotional scale excitement and anxiety are right next to each other. They are both derived from an uncertain outcome, the unknown. And if you really think about it they really do feel almost exactly the same in a physical way too.

Obviously one is positive and the other is negative. And while some times it is an intuitive feeling that should be honored (and you must learn to be able to tell the difference), most often anxiety is misinterpreted excitement. Instead of being unsure and fearful of the unknown, what if you decided it was going to turn out great? And this whole experience was a wonderful adventure that would lead you to a positive ending?

I know this sounds super Pollyanna like.  Some of you right now are thinking that this seems really easy to say, but super hard to do. And no doubt some of you think I’m just nuts, because what kind of “organic” have I been eating that I’m going to try and convince you that nearly all feelings of anxiety can be adjusted to a more proper feeling of excitement?

Well I might be a little nuts but it’s all natural, friends.  No need to ingest anything.

Remember how I said they are right next to each other on the emotional scale, and literally basically feel the same? This can work in your favor. Because the feelings are so similar, it’s actually only a few breaths and a little imagination away from being excitement instead of anxiety. Positive instead of negative.  A joy instead of a dread.

When that nervous feeling comes up in your stomach or your heart, you mind starts racing and your chest gets tighter from the thoughts of anxiety about whatever your situation; acknowledge them.  Put the brakes on the hamster wheel of torment taking place in your brain right now.  Say, “I know how you are feeling.  There’s too much to do, not enough time, not enough money, everyone will be disappointed and probably end up hating me forever.”  There does it feel just a bit better to just go with the anxious train of thought?

Now close your eyes, and literally take five slow breaths.  Monitor the inhale and exhale.  Suggest to yourself, “What if no one cares I didn’t do this perfectly or even notices?  And I can just be excited that I get to have all my favorite people here together.”  How does that feel?  Think about the joy, happiness, and love it brings up in you imaging everyone being together and having a great time.

Fearful that you are going to be asked to do things that you just don’t have the budget for, and you really want to, but you know it would be irresponsible if you did?  Not to mention how embarrassing it will be to say you can’t go because of money?  Take a minute and again, acknowledge and run with anxious thought out to the end of the cliff.  Then close your eyes, take some deep breaths and observe them.  Plant the thought, “Being limited in budget doesn’t have to damning.  Let’s make this an opportunity to see who can come up with the most fun thing to do that doesn’t cost a dime.  Come up with an activity that will really help us connect and appreciate each other.”  So maybe you pick someone’s house where you can have a little fire and everyone brings something to share.  Maybe you take the kids to the beach or the park, and grab a cheap kite at the dollar store.  Maybe this is really an opportunity to have a true experience rather than be distracted by some sociological norm of how to spend the weekend?

My point to all of this is that literally excitement and anxiety are next to each other on a scale.  It’s a thin line of consciousness that takes that same pent-up energy, even the physiological reactions, from a negative to a positive experience.  No thought, experience, or moment needs to be acted out in dread.  Make the choice to be conscious of what comes up and set the intention to make the shift.

Now go live this weekend! Enjoy.

I Received a Transplant

It’s Easter.  A day of new beginnings.  A day to remind you of the indestructible light that surrounds us, and is in us.  A day for reflection and gratitude.

I actually wrote this yesterday spontaneously.  I had a moment.  One of those moments that I gratefully seem to be having here rather frequently.  I literally sat on a public bench to quickly jot, what follows, down before it was lost in my other thoughts.  I thought, “This I should share. This feeling of perfect sight that has now blessed me since my move.”  I’ve been told more than once, by new friends here, how great it is for them to hear me share something in a new way that they have taken for granted.  So here goes…

Interestingly,  as I transplanted myself to a new geographical location I seem to have also received a transplant of my heart, my soul, my eyes. It’s amazing how I now see this world which I live in-the amount of love that I feel in my heart for the simplest things that I once took for granted.

I hope this isn’t just because I’m “new” here. I hope this isn’t a transplant that will eventually be rejected by my body. I will hold onto the belief that these “new” eyes, heart, soul, will stay healthy and strong.

I wake each morning feeling blessed and grateful for the sun. I grin a silly grin to watch my cat excitedly keeping track of the activities of all the birds in our pond out back. I literally laugh out loud with glee at a little boy excitedly squealing and shouting for his dad on the pier, “dad! dad! This ones a big one.” As he reels up his fourth little sun fish in the past fifteen minutes. I am delighted, down to my soul. My heart fills, as I walk the sidewalk looking in the windows of shops and restaurants that I’ve already seen two dozen times.

None of these things are new to me. I’ve seen the sun before. I’ve seen my cat get all excited watching “wild” animals. I’ve seen children fishing and getting excited. It’s not my first time walking these sidewalks. Yet how I see and feel these every day things has now changed.

I’ve been a recipient of one of the greatest gifts a human can receive. A transplant.

On this Easter morning, put yourself on the transplant list.

I’m Not Happy and I Know It.

How many times have we heard that being happy is a choice. And we think, “Well if it was THAT easy I’d be happy all the time.”

imagesThe truth is it can BECOME that easy. But it does take practice until we can turn it into our habit, our way of being. And even when we think we are “getting it”, it’s important to remember that sometimes you are going to have a tough day.  The kind of day where you have to keep being conscious that your kind of in the “yuck zone”.

Feeling less than stellar is ok.  But don’t add to it by beating yourself up and thinking, “I should be happy.  I should be grateful.  There are so many others with so much worse going on.”  Yes, this is all very true but you are feeling what you are feeling.  Just allow and surrender to it.  Trying to force a change to a better mood or resisting that you are actually feeling anger, frustration, etc.  does not make it better.  But you CAN make it better, by acknowledging your feelings.  You aren’t perfect.  You can’t always be 100% joyful.  Some days crappy life stuff happens.

For me personally, I am trying a new practice when those irritating and bothersome situations come up which invoke a less than happy feeling.  I have started acknowledging, “This does suck, but it is also an opportunity for me to see how much growth I have made in handling these types of situations.  This is a gift for me to witness a blessing or an opportunity from God.  It most certainly is his way of getting an extra chance to show me how he loves and takes care of me today.”  Maybe that will help you too.  (Substitute God with your Angel, Universe, Spirit-whatever fits.)

The key is to be very aware of your mood throughout the day. Keep checking in with yourself to see if you are feeling happy. If you realize your feeling is less than good-read your affirmation, listen to a favorite song, think of something that makes you smile every day. Try and do something that engages a feeling of love.  It can be your love for something or someone; or someone’s love for you.

Go and get your happy on!

If Only I Had Courage

Some people think that I have been courageous in this life. And I suppose at some mthe_wizard_of_oz-cowardly_lion-courage-001oments I have been, but maybe not for the reasons that really matter.  Because if being courageous is really knowing who you are, and BEING who you really are, maybe I have not always done such a good job. I watched the “power of vulnerability” TED talk with Brene Brown the other night.  In it she says courage is living whole-hearted.   To her, that means living without shame, living without a fear of disconnect. And I think all too often I have lived with a sense of shame.   I never saw it that way or felt it that way, but I look back now and know it is true.  To live while not having a sense of vulnerability, is not being real. It’s not living with courage.

To be vulnerable I must reveal who I truly am with no shame and with a whole heart. What a frightening, uncontrollable, unpredictable place to be.  What if no one connects to you?  What if you are not seen?   This is something that I have not always been in a place to willingly do.  It’ easier to “know” how people want you to be, what will get the connection of others and act, BE, from that place.

Vulnerable means laying out your heart for all the world to see and judge and reject, and thinking I will do this anyway with strength, with courage. It means saying to everyone, “I have something to offer, to give, to share with the whole world that is just me. Only me. Totally me.”   And some will reject it, and some will fall in love with it, and some will be inspired by it.  But some will hate it.   Some will have disdain for it.   Some will think I am less than and unworthy for it.  But I will do it anyway.  This is living with vulnerability.  This is living with courage.

To know that we are perfect for exactly who we are…to know, I AM ENOUGH, is what real vulnerability is.  It’s also the only way to truly give love, share love, and receive love.  Imagine if we all decided to be vulnerable?  What joy and beauty would come from that.

Teach your children that they are enough, that not
everyone will love them.  Let them know not everyone will connect to them, but that there are plenty that will.   And whether they do or they don’t, your light shines anyway. Your gifts are given. Your love is felt.   And that is enough.  That is courageous vulnerability.